1150+🏫 Teacher vs Little Johnny: The Ultimate Joke Battle! For 2025

Welcome to Little Johnny Jokes! 🎉

If you love classic humor with a mischievous twist, you’ve come to the right place!

Here, you’ll find the latest, funniest, and most creative Little Johnny jokes that will have you laughing non-stop.

And the best part? Every joke comes with a copy button and a share-to-WhatsApp button, making it super easy to share the fun with your friends and family.

Get ready for endless laughs with Little Johnny Jokes—where the jokes are clever, cheeky, and always hilarious!

🤭 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: Johnny, use ‘income’ in a sentence.
Johnny: I opened the door and income my dog!
Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
Johnny: Dad, can I watch TV?
Dad: Sure, but don’t turn it on!
Teacher: Johnny, your answer is wrong.
Johnny: But you asked what I think!
Why did Johnny bring a rope to school? He wanted to tie up some loose ends in math!
Teacher: Why is your homework so messy?
Johnny: It’s extra credit—art and math combined!
Johnny: I have a step-ladder. I never knew my real ladder!
Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell ‘banana’?
Johnny: B-A-N… wait, I don’t know when to stop!
Johnny’s mom: Why didn’t you clean your room?
Johnny: Because I didn’t make it dirty!
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your book?
Johnny: At home, living its best life!
Johnny: Mom, can I eat in bed?
Mom: No!
Johnny: Then why’s there a snack under the mattress?
Teacher: Johnny, why is your paper blank?
Johnny: Because silence speaks louder than words!
Dad: Johnny, what’s the magic word?
Johnny: Please?
Dad: No, abracadabra!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you writing so slowly?
Johnny: Because I’m writing history!
Mom: Johnny, turn off the light!
Johnny: Then how will I see my dreams?

🤭 Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: Johnny, what’s the past tense of ‘think’?
Johnny: Thunk!
Johnny: Dad, can I go out?
Dad: Ask your mom.
Johnny: Mom, can I go out?
Mom: Ask your dad.
Johnny: Well, I tried!
Johnny: Mom, I got 100 in school!
Mom: Really?!
Johnny: Yes! 40 in math, 30 in English, and 30 in science!
Teacher: Johnny, what’s the capital of France?
Johnny: F!
Johnny: I lost my dog.
Teacher: Put an ad in the paper!
Johnny: But my dog can’t read!
Teacher: Johnny, name a bird that can’t fly.
Johnny: A dead one!
Mom: Johnny, where are your socks?
Johnny: On strike!
Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell ‘Mississippi’?
Johnny: M-I… umm… M-I… Can I buy a vowel?
Johnny: I don’t need school! Google knows everything!
Teacher: Johnny, why don’t you listen?
Johnny: Because my ears are on vacation!

🤭 Little Johnny Jokes for Adults

Teacher: Johnny, why do you always stare at me?
Johnny: Because you’re pretty when you’re mad!
Mom: Johnny, where’s your report card?
Johnny: I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents!
Johnny: Dad, I want to marry Grandma!
Dad: You can’t!
Johnny: Why not? You married my mom!
Johnny: Mom, can I have $5?
Mom: Does it look like I’m made of money?
Johnny: Well, isn’t that what MOM stands for?
Teacher: Johnny, what’s 1+1?
Johnny: Depends on who’s watching!
Dad: Johnny, why are you home early?
Johnny: Because of climate change—the classroom was too heated!
Teacher: Johnny, stop talking!
Johnny: But I wasn’t talking to you!
Johnny: Mom, my piggy bank is broken.
Mom: Why?
Johnny: Because there’s no money in it!
Teacher: Johnny, use ‘beef’ in a sentence.
Johnny: I beef tired of school!
Dad: Johnny, you’re grounded!
Johnny: Well, at least I won’t fall!
Johnny: Mom, what’s for dinner?
Mom: Food.
Johnny: What kind of food?
Mom: The edible kind!
Teacher: Johnny, your handwriting is terrible.
Johnny: I know—it’s cursive!
Johnny: Mom, I’m tired of eating leftovers.
Mom: Then stop leaving food on your plate!
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: It ran away!
Dad: Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Johnny: A vacationer!

🤭 Little Johnny Jokes Teacher

Teacher: Johnny, why is your homework so late?
Johnny: Because it was too easy—I wanted a challenge!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you always late?
Johnny: Traffic.
Teacher: You walk to school!
Johnny: Exactly! Too many people in my way!
Teacher: Johnny, if I had 5 apples and you took 2, how many do I have left?
Johnny: None, because you wouldn’t let me take them!
Teacher: Johnny, spell ‘banana.’
Johnny: B-A-N-A-N-A… wait, I think I put too many ‘na’s!
Teacher: Johnny, can you tell me an example of coincidence?
Johnny: My mom and dad got married on the same day!
Teacher: Johnny, your essay is exactly like your brother’s!
Johnny: Well, we have the same teacher!
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your report card?
Johnny: My dog ate it.
Teacher: But you don’t have a dog!
Johnny: I just got one today!
Teacher: Johnny, you’re always daydreaming in class!
Johnny: That’s because my dreams are more interesting than your lessons!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you looking at the clock?
Johnny: Because I want to make sure I don’t waste a second of this amazing class!
Teacher: Johnny, name a country.
Johnny: America!
Teacher: Good! Now name another.
Johnny: North America!
Teacher: Johnny, do you know what ‘grammar’ means?
Johnny: Yeah, it’s what my grandma does when she’s mad!
Teacher: Johnny, can you use ‘fascinate’ in a sentence?
Johnny: Sure! My shirt has ten buttons, but I can only fasten eight!
Teacher: Johnny, your handwriting is terrible!
Johnny: That’s because my thoughts move faster than my pen!
Teacher: Johnny, did you study for the test?
Johnny: I did, but my brain forgot!
Teacher: Johnny, your answer doesn’t make sense!
Johnny: It does in my world!

🤭 Little Johnny Jokes One-Liners

I told my mom I wanted a pet… she said, ‘Get a job first.’
My teacher said I talk too much, so I told her she does too!
I don’t get in trouble—I just create unexpected learning experiences!
If school’s supposed to prepare us for life, why don’t we have ‘Nap Time’ at work?
I tried to do my homework, but my pencil quit on me!
When life gives you lemons, trade them for chocolate!
I don’t need Google—my mom knows everything!
I told my teacher I lost my homework. She said I never turned it in!
I didn’t fail the test, I just extended my learning!
I don’t always listen in class… but when I do, it’s never important!
I was born to be wild—but only until 9 PM!
My teacher says I ask too many questions… but isn’t that how you learn?
I told my parents I wanted to be an astronaut—they told me to take off the trash first!
If I had a dollar for every time my teacher called my name, I’d be rich!
They said school prepares you for life… but I’ve never needed to find ‘X’ in real life!

🤭 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Short

Teacher: Johnny, why do you talk during class?
Johnny: Because I can’t talk when I’m asleep!
Johnny: Mom, I think I broke my arm!
Mom: Stop exaggerating!
Johnny: Then why is my hand facing the wrong way?
Teacher: Johnny, your test is terrible!
Johnny: Well, I tried to make it fun!
Johnny: Dad, can I borrow $10?
Dad: Does money grow on trees?
Johnny: Yeah! It’s called paper!
Teacher: Johnny, what’s your favorite subject?
Johnny: Lunch!
Mom: Johnny, why are you eating cereal with a fork?
Johnny: Because I already drank the milk!
Teacher: Johnny, why is your math book wet?
Johnny: Because it has too many problems!
Dad: Johnny, what are you doing?
Johnny: Living my best life!
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence using ‘window.’
Johnny: I opened the window and threw my homework out!
Mom: Johnny, what did you do at school today?
Johnny: Survived!
Johnny: Mom, can I eat dessert first?
Mom: No!
Johnny: Then I’ll just eat dessert last forever!
Teacher: Johnny, do you know where rain comes from?
Johnny: From the sky!
Mom: Johnny, why is your shirt inside out?
Johnny: Because I wanted a fresh start!
Teacher: Johnny, stop doodling in your book!
Johnny: But it’s a sketchbook!
Johnny: Dad, can you wake me up early tomorrow?
Dad: Sure, how about before sunrise?
Johnny: No, I meant early… like 10 AM!

🤭 Funniest Little Johnny Jokes Ever

Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell ‘Mississippi’?
Johnny: Fast or slow?
Mom: Johnny, what’s your favorite thing to do?
Johnny: Sleep!
Teacher: Johnny, why is your test blank?
Johnny: Because silence is the best answer!
Mom: Johnny, clean your room!
Johnny: Why? It’s my natural habitat!
Teacher: Johnny, what’s the hardest thing about school?
Johnny: Waking up!
Johnny: Mom, I got an A!
Mom: Really?!
Johnny: No, but it sounds nice, doesn’t it?
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your pencil?
Johnny: It left me!
Mom: Johnny, don’t eat all the cookies!
Johnny: But they were lonely!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you always hungry?
Johnny: Because thinking burns calories!
Mom: Johnny, why is your room a mess?
Johnny: Because I’m saving energy!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you sleeping in class?
Johnny: I’m dreaming about the lesson!
Mom: Johnny, did you break the TV?
Johnny: No, the TV broke itself!
Teacher: Johnny, name three animals that live in the ocean.
Johnny: Fish, fish, and… fish!
Mom: Johnny, where are your socks?
Johnny: They ran away!
Teacher: Johnny, stop talking!
Johnny: But I’m a social butterfly!

🤭 Little Johnny Jokes Dirty – I Like the Way You Think

Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell ‘Mississippi’?
Johnny: With one ‘M’ and a whole lot of S’s!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you always late?
Johnny: Because good things take time!
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with ‘definitely’.
Johnny: The bathroom smells bad… there’s definitely someone in there!
Teacher: Johnny, what’s the difference between ‘ignorance’ and ‘apathy’?
Johnny: I don’t know, and I don’t care!
Teacher: Johnny, why didn’t you do your homework?
Johnny: Because I wanted to surprise you!
Mom: Johnny, I told you to stop playing with fire!
Johnny: But I’m just heating up for the real world!
Teacher: Johnny, why did you write ‘I love you’ on your test?
Johnny: Because I wanted extra credit!
Mom: Johnny, did you take a shower?
Johnny: Why? Is one missing?
Teacher: Johnny, what’s the hardest thing about school?
Johnny: Staying awake!
Mom: Johnny, why is your report card so bad?
Johnny: Because I didn’t want to hurt the other students’ feelings!
Teacher: Johnny, do you know where rain comes from?
Johnny: Yeah, the sky takes a leak!
Mom: Johnny, clean your room!
Johnny: I’m waiting for the dust to settle first!
Teacher: Johnny, how do you make a sentence with ‘beautiful’?
Johnny: Last night, I saw my teacher—she was beautiful… but then I woke up!
Mom: Johnny, where’s the cake I baked?
Johnny: It decided to go for a walk… into my stomach!
Teacher: Johnny, what did you learn in school today?
Johnny: Not enough… they want me to come back tomorrow!

🤣 Little Johnny Jokes About School

Little Johnny is the ultimate class clown—his teachers can never catch a break!

Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell ‘crocodile’?
Johnny: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: That’s wrong!
Johnny: Maybe, but you asked how I spell it!
Teacher: Johnny, use ‘definitely’ in a sentence.
Johnny: Do fart smells have solid particles?
Teacher: No!
Johnny: Then it’s definitely air!
Teacher: If I had five apples and you took three, what would you have?
Johnny: A stomachache!
Teacher: Why didn’t you do your homework, Johnny?
Johnny: Because I already have enough problems!
Teacher: How can you prove the world is round?
Johnny: I never said it was!
Johnny: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test!
Teacher: Neither do I, but it’s the lowest I could give!
Teacher: What’s the longest word in English?
Johnny: Smiles! Because there’s a mile between the first and last letter!
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late?
Johnny: Because class started before I got here!
Teacher: If you have ten chocolates and give four to your friend, what do you have left?
Johnny: Ten chocolates and a fake friend!
Johnny: I got 100% on my test!
Teacher: Really?
Johnny: Well, 40% in math, 30% in English, and 30% in science!
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Johnny: My dog ate it.
Teacher: You don’t have a dog!
Johnny: I don’t have homework either!
Teacher: What’s your excuse for being late?
Johnny: I thought it was Saturday!
Teacher: What’s the formula for water?
Johnny: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What?
Johnny: You said it’s H to O!
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Johnny: Retired!
Teacher: Name two pronouns.
Johnny: Who? Me?

😂 Little Johnny Jokes About Parents

Johnny’s parents are always in for a surprise with his hilarious responses!

Mom: How was school today?
Johnny: Awesome! We had a substitute!
Dad: Why are your socks inside out?
Johnny: Because the dirty side is on the outside!
Mom: Why didn’t you clean your room?
Johnny: I live in organized chaos!
Dad: Do you think money grows on trees?
Johnny: Technically, it does. It’s made of paper!
Mom: Who ate all the cookies?
Johnny: Gravity pulled them into my mouth!
Dad: What did you learn at school today?
Johnny: Not enough! They want me to come back tomorrow!
Mom: Stop jumping on the bed!
Johnny: I’m testing gravity!
Dad: What do you want for dinner?
Johnny: A menu!
Mom: If you don’t behave, Santa won’t come!
Johnny: That’s fine, I’ll text the Easter Bunny!
Dad: Why are you always on your phone?
Johnny: Because you always say ‘go outside and play,’ but my phone goes with me!
Mom: Do you ever listen to me?
Johnny: Yes… just not out loud!
Dad: You need to save money!
Johnny: Okay, I’ll start by not paying attention!
Mom: Clean your room!
Johnny: Define ‘clean’ first!
Dad: Why are you running around?
Johnny: You told me to get some exercise!
Mom: I’m not mad, I just want to talk.
Johnny: Then why do you sound like you’re about to explode?

🤪 Little Johnny Jokes About Life

Johnny sees the world in a way no one else does!

Johnny: Dad, can I borrow some money?
Dad: Does it look like I’m made of money?
Johnny: Well, isn’t that what MOM always says?
Mom: Why do you have a spoon in your pocket?
Johnny: In case I find some pudding!
Johnny: Can I have $5?
Dad: Does it look like I’m a bank?
Johnny: Then why do you always have a ‘checking’ problem?
Johnny: I cleaned my room!
Mom: Where did you put everything?
Johnny: Under the bed, where it belongs!
Johnny: Can I have a puppy?
Mom: Are you going to take care of it?
Johnny: Are YOU going to take care of ME?
Mom: What are you watching?
Johnny: A show about my future!
Mom: It’s just static.
Johnny: Exactly.
Johnny: Why do I have to go to bed early?
Mom: Because the early bird gets the worm!
Johnny: Good, because I don’t like worms!
Johnny: I cleaned my plate!
Mom: That means you’re full!
Johnny: No, it means I need dessert!
Dad: Why did you spend all your allowance?
Johnny: Because money talks, and it said ‘Goodbye!’
Johnny: Can I stay up late?
Mom: No.
Johnny: Then I’ll just dream about staying up late!