Welcome to Little Johnny Jokes! đ
If you love classic humor with a mischievous twist, youâve come to the right place!
Here, youâll find the latest, funniest, and most creative Little Johnny jokes that will have you laughing non-stop.
And the best part? Every joke comes with a copy button and a share-to-WhatsApp button, making it super easy to share the fun with your friends and family.
Get ready for endless laughs with Little Johnny Jokesâwhere the jokes are clever, cheeky, and always hilarious!
đ€ Dirty Little Johnny Jokes
- Teacher: Johnny, use âincomeâ in a sentence.
Johnny: I opened the door and income my dog! - Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
- Johnny: Dad, can I watch TV?
Dad: Sure, but donât turn it on! - Teacher: Johnny, your answer is wrong.
Johnny: But you asked what I think! - Why did Johnny bring a rope to school? He wanted to tie up some loose ends in math!
- Teacher: Why is your homework so messy?
Johnny: Itâs extra creditâart and math combined! - Johnny: I have a step-ladder. I never knew my real ladder!
- Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell âbananaâ?
Johnny: B-A-N⊠wait, I donât know when to stop! - Johnnyâs mom: Why didnât you clean your room?
Johnny: Because I didnât make it dirty! - Teacher: Johnny, whereâs your book?
Johnny: At home, living its best life! - Johnny: Mom, can I eat in bed?
Mom: No!
Johnny: Then whyâs there a snack under the mattress? - Teacher: Johnny, why is your paper blank?
Johnny: Because silence speaks louder than words! - Dad: Johnny, whatâs the magic word?
Johnny: Please?
Dad: No, abracadabra! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you writing so slowly?
Johnny: Because Iâm writing history! - Mom: Johnny, turn off the light!
Johnny: Then how will I see my dreams?
đ€ Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes
- Teacher: Johnny, whatâs the past tense of âthinkâ?
Johnny: Thunk! - Johnny: Dad, can I go out?
Dad: Ask your mom.
Johnny: Mom, can I go out?
Mom: Ask your dad.
Johnny: Well, I tried! - Johnny: Mom, I got 100 in school!
Mom: Really?!
Johnny: Yes! 40 in math, 30 in English, and 30 in science! - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs the capital of France?
Johnny: F! - Johnny: I lost my dog.
Teacher: Put an ad in the paper!
Johnny: But my dog canât read! - Teacher: Johnny, name a bird that canât fly.
Johnny: A dead one! - Mom: Johnny, where are your socks?
Johnny: On strike! - Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell âMississippiâ?
Johnny: M-I⊠umm⊠M-I⊠Can I buy a vowel? - Johnny: I donât need school! Google knows everything!
- Teacher: Johnny, why donât you listen?
Johnny: Because my ears are on vacation!
đ€ Little Johnny Jokes for Adults
- Teacher: Johnny, why do you always stare at me?
Johnny: Because youâre pretty when youâre mad! - Mom: Johnny, whereâs your report card?
Johnny: I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents! - Johnny: Dad, I want to marry Grandma!
Dad: You canât!
Johnny: Why not? You married my mom! - Johnny: Mom, can I have $5?
Mom: Does it look like Iâm made of money?
Johnny: Well, isnât that what MOM stands for? - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs 1+1?
Johnny: Depends on whoâs watching! - Dad: Johnny, why are you home early?
Johnny: Because of climate changeâthe classroom was too heated! - Teacher: Johnny, stop talking!
Johnny: But I wasnât talking to you! - Johnny: Mom, my piggy bank is broken.
Mom: Why?
Johnny: Because thereâs no money in it! - Teacher: Johnny, use âbeefâ in a sentence.
Johnny: I beef tired of school! - Dad: Johnny, youâre grounded!
Johnny: Well, at least I wonât fall! - Johnny: Mom, whatâs for dinner?
Mom: Food.
Johnny: What kind of food?
Mom: The edible kind! - Teacher: Johnny, your handwriting is terrible.
Johnny: I knowâitâs cursive! - Johnny: Mom, Iâm tired of eating leftovers.
Mom: Then stop leaving food on your plate! - Teacher: Johnny, whereâs your homework?
Johnny: It ran away! - Dad: Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Johnny: A vacationer!
đ€ Little Johnny Jokes Teacher
- Teacher: Johnny, why is your homework so late?
Johnny: Because it was too easyâI wanted a challenge! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you always late?
Johnny: Traffic.
Teacher: You walk to school!
Johnny: Exactly! Too many people in my way! - Teacher: Johnny, if I had 5 apples and you took 2, how many do I have left?
Johnny: None, because you wouldnât let me take them! - Teacher: Johnny, spell âbanana.â
Johnny: B-A-N-A-N-A⊠wait, I think I put too many ânaâs! - Teacher: Johnny, can you tell me an example of coincidence?
Johnny: My mom and dad got married on the same day! - Teacher: Johnny, your essay is exactly like your brotherâs!
Johnny: Well, we have the same teacher! - Teacher: Johnny, whereâs your report card?
Johnny: My dog ate it.
Teacher: But you donât have a dog!
Johnny: I just got one today! - Teacher: Johnny, youâre always daydreaming in class!
Johnny: Thatâs because my dreams are more interesting than your lessons! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you looking at the clock?
Johnny: Because I want to make sure I donât waste a second of this amazing class! - Teacher: Johnny, name a country.
Johnny: America!
Teacher: Good! Now name another.
Johnny: North America! - Teacher: Johnny, do you know what âgrammarâ means?
Johnny: Yeah, itâs what my grandma does when sheâs mad! - Teacher: Johnny, can you use âfascinateâ in a sentence?
Johnny: Sure! My shirt has ten buttons, but I can only fasten eight! - Teacher: Johnny, your handwriting is terrible!
Johnny: Thatâs because my thoughts move faster than my pen! - Teacher: Johnny, did you study for the test?
Johnny: I did, but my brain forgot! - Teacher: Johnny, your answer doesnât make sense!
Johnny: It does in my world!
đ€ Little Johnny Jokes One-Liners
- I told my mom I wanted a pet⊠she said, âGet a job first.â
- My teacher said I talk too much, so I told her she does too!
- I donât get in troubleâI just create unexpected learning experiences!
- If schoolâs supposed to prepare us for life, why donât we have âNap Timeâ at work?
- I tried to do my homework, but my pencil quit on me!
- When life gives you lemons, trade them for chocolate!
- I donât need Googleâmy mom knows everything!
- I told my teacher I lost my homework. She said I never turned it in!
- I didnât fail the test, I just extended my learning!
- I donât always listen in class⊠but when I do, itâs never important!
- I was born to be wildâbut only until 9 PM!
- My teacher says I ask too many questions⊠but isnât that how you learn?
- I told my parents I wanted to be an astronautâthey told me to take off the trash first!
- If I had a dollar for every time my teacher called my name, Iâd be rich!
- They said school prepares you for life⊠but Iâve never needed to find âXâ in real life!
đ€ Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Short
- Teacher: Johnny, why do you talk during class?
Johnny: Because I canât talk when Iâm asleep! - Johnny: Mom, I think I broke my arm!
Mom: Stop exaggerating!
Johnny: Then why is my hand facing the wrong way? - Teacher: Johnny, your test is terrible!
Johnny: Well, I tried to make it fun! - Johnny: Dad, can I borrow $10?
Dad: Does money grow on trees?
Johnny: Yeah! Itâs called paper! - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs your favorite subject?
Johnny: Lunch! - Mom: Johnny, why are you eating cereal with a fork?
Johnny: Because I already drank the milk! - Teacher: Johnny, why is your math book wet?
Johnny: Because it has too many problems! - Dad: Johnny, what are you doing?
Johnny: Living my best life! - Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence using âwindow.â
Johnny: I opened the window and threw my homework out! - Mom: Johnny, what did you do at school today?
Johnny: Survived! - Johnny: Mom, can I eat dessert first?
Mom: No!
Johnny: Then Iâll just eat dessert last forever! - Teacher: Johnny, do you know where rain comes from?
Johnny: From the sky! - Mom: Johnny, why is your shirt inside out?
Johnny: Because I wanted a fresh start! - Teacher: Johnny, stop doodling in your book!
Johnny: But itâs a sketchbook! - Johnny: Dad, can you wake me up early tomorrow?
Dad: Sure, how about before sunrise?
Johnny: No, I meant early⊠like 10 AM!
đ€ Funniest Little Johnny Jokes Ever
- Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell âMississippiâ?
Johnny: Fast or slow? - Mom: Johnny, whatâs your favorite thing to do?
Johnny: Sleep! - Teacher: Johnny, why is your test blank?
Johnny: Because silence is the best answer! - Mom: Johnny, clean your room!
Johnny: Why? Itâs my natural habitat! - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs the hardest thing about school?
Johnny: Waking up! - Johnny: Mom, I got an A!
Mom: Really?!
Johnny: No, but it sounds nice, doesnât it? - Teacher: Johnny, whereâs your pencil?
Johnny: It left me! - Mom: Johnny, donât eat all the cookies!
Johnny: But they were lonely! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you always hungry?
Johnny: Because thinking burns calories! - Mom: Johnny, why is your room a mess?
Johnny: Because Iâm saving energy! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you sleeping in class?
Johnny: Iâm dreaming about the lesson! - Mom: Johnny, did you break the TV?
Johnny: No, the TV broke itself! - Teacher: Johnny, name three animals that live in the ocean.
Johnny: Fish, fish, and⊠fish! - Mom: Johnny, where are your socks?
Johnny: They ran away! - Teacher: Johnny, stop talking!
Johnny: But Iâm a social butterfly!
đ€ Little Johnny Jokes Dirty â I Like the Way You Think
- Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell âMississippiâ?
Johnny: With one âMâ and a whole lot of Sâs! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you always late?
Johnny: Because good things take time! - Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with âdefinitelyâ.
Johnny: The bathroom smells bad⊠thereâs definitely someone in there! - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs the difference between âignoranceâ and âapathyâ?
Johnny: I donât know, and I donât care! - Teacher: Johnny, why didnât you do your homework?
Johnny: Because I wanted to surprise you! - Mom: Johnny, I told you to stop playing with fire!
Johnny: But Iâm just heating up for the real world! - Teacher: Johnny, why did you write âI love youâ on your test?
Johnny: Because I wanted extra credit! - Mom: Johnny, did you take a shower?
Johnny: Why? Is one missing? - Teacher: Johnny, whatâs the hardest thing about school?
Johnny: Staying awake! - Mom: Johnny, why is your report card so bad?
Johnny: Because I didnât want to hurt the other studentsâ feelings! - Teacher: Johnny, do you know where rain comes from?
Johnny: Yeah, the sky takes a leak! - Mom: Johnny, clean your room!
Johnny: Iâm waiting for the dust to settle first! - Teacher: Johnny, how do you make a sentence with âbeautifulâ?
Johnny: Last night, I saw my teacherâshe was beautiful⊠but then I woke up! - Mom: Johnny, whereâs the cake I baked?
Johnny: It decided to go for a walk⊠into my stomach! - Teacher: Johnny, what did you learn in school today?
Johnny: Not enough⊠they want me to come back tomorrow!
đ€Ł Little Johnny Jokes About School
Little Johnny is the ultimate class clownâhis teachers can never catch a break!
- Teacher: Johnny, how do you spell âcrocodileâ?
Johnny: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: Thatâs wrong!
Johnny: Maybe, but you asked how I spell it! - Teacher: Johnny, use âdefinitelyâ in a sentence.
Johnny: Do fart smells have solid particles?
Teacher: No!
Johnny: Then itâs definitely air! - Teacher: If I had five apples and you took three, what would you have?
Johnny: A stomachache! - Teacher: Why didnât you do your homework, Johnny?
Johnny: Because I already have enough problems! - Teacher: How can you prove the world is round?
Johnny: I never said it was! - Johnny: I donât think I deserve a zero on this test!
Teacher: Neither do I, but itâs the lowest I could give! - Teacher: Whatâs the longest word in English?
Johnny: Smiles! Because thereâs a mile between the first and last letter! - Teacher: Johnny, why are you late?
Johnny: Because class started before I got here! - Teacher: If you have ten chocolates and give four to your friend, what do you have left?
Johnny: Ten chocolates and a fake friend! - Johnny: I got 100% on my test!
Teacher: Really?
Johnny: Well, 40% in math, 30% in English, and 30% in science! - Teacher: Where is your homework?
Johnny: My dog ate it.
Teacher: You donât have a dog!
Johnny: I donât have homework either! - Teacher: Whatâs your excuse for being late?
Johnny: I thought it was Saturday! - Teacher: Whatâs the formula for water?
Johnny: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What?
Johnny: You said itâs H to O! - Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Johnny: Retired! - Teacher: Name two pronouns.
Johnny: Who? Me?
đ Little Johnny Jokes About Parents
Johnnyâs parents are always in for a surprise with his hilarious responses!
- Mom: How was school today?
Johnny: Awesome! We had a substitute! - Dad: Why are your socks inside out?
Johnny: Because the dirty side is on the outside! - Mom: Why didnât you clean your room?
Johnny: I live in organized chaos! - Dad: Do you think money grows on trees?
Johnny: Technically, it does. Itâs made of paper! - Mom: Who ate all the cookies?
Johnny: Gravity pulled them into my mouth! - Dad: What did you learn at school today?
Johnny: Not enough! They want me to come back tomorrow! - Mom: Stop jumping on the bed!
Johnny: Iâm testing gravity! - Dad: What do you want for dinner?
Johnny: A menu! - Mom: If you donât behave, Santa wonât come!
Johnny: Thatâs fine, Iâll text the Easter Bunny! - Dad: Why are you always on your phone?
Johnny: Because you always say âgo outside and play,â but my phone goes with me! - Mom: Do you ever listen to me?
Johnny: Yes⊠just not out loud! - Dad: You need to save money!
Johnny: Okay, Iâll start by not paying attention! - Mom: Clean your room!
Johnny: Define âcleanâ first! - Dad: Why are you running around?
Johnny: You told me to get some exercise! - Mom: Iâm not mad, I just want to talk.
Johnny: Then why do you sound like youâre about to explode?
đ€Ș Little Johnny Jokes About Life
Johnny sees the world in a way no one else does!
- Johnny: Dad, can I borrow some money?
Dad: Does it look like Iâm made of money?
Johnny: Well, isnât that what MOM always says? - Mom: Why do you have a spoon in your pocket?
Johnny: In case I find some pudding! - Johnny: Can I have $5?
Dad: Does it look like Iâm a bank?
Johnny: Then why do you always have a âcheckingâ problem? - Johnny: I cleaned my room!
Mom: Where did you put everything?
Johnny: Under the bed, where it belongs! - Johnny: Can I have a puppy?
Mom: Are you going to take care of it?
Johnny: Are YOU going to take care of ME? - Mom: What are you watching?
Johnny: A show about my future!
Mom: Itâs just static.
Johnny: Exactly. - Johnny: Why do I have to go to bed early?
Mom: Because the early bird gets the worm!
Johnny: Good, because I donât like worms! - Johnny: I cleaned my plate!
Mom: That means youâre full!
Johnny: No, it means I need dessert! - Dad: Why did you spend all your allowance?
Johnny: Because money talks, and it said âGoodbye!â - Johnny: Can I stay up late?
Mom: No.
Johnny: Then Iâll just dream about staying up late!
đ€© Conclusion
Little Johnny jokes never get oldâhis clever and mischievous humor always keeps us on our toes!
Whether heâs at school, home, or just being his witty self, his jokes are guaranteed to bring smiles!
